The most common challenge our clients seem to have when they turn up at our phones, doors or website for coaching can be summed up by the following;
1) I have been dating since I was 15, where is he already?
2) How many more times do I get married before I give up?
3) Why do I keep getting my heart broken?
4) Where and how do I find true love?
So. Where to start?
Let just have a massive rant at the rubbish dating landscape bought about by a tech obsessed generation. Generic dating apps, many of which offer no more than at best casual hook ups and at worse are nor more glorified prostitution. In fact most should come with a disclaimer; using these devices can seriously damage your self esteem and destroy any healthy hope you may currently hold as to finding a fulfilling relationship. With a few exceptions they are mostly just money making machines for the creators at the expense of peoples time, hearts and company.
Lets rewind to a time that produced a lot more substantive companionships. We do not have to go as far back as world war two, I am talking about the 90’s. A time we experienced first hand, where people still met each other organically. At work, at bars, at sticky nightclubs, at the gym. A time where dating didn’t have the same pressure we apply to everything these days. Even falling to sleep requires self help books and apps. Another simple human pleasure that has been exploited beyond belief. Dating just happened. I was in a relationship for seven years, as was Shan (both with Gemini’s) ok it wasn’t always smooth sailing though it was much more enjoyable than ping ponging from one partner to the next via online profiles. Texting, mostly on Nokia 3210’s, slowly developed to friday evenings picking a dvd at blockbuster and ordering domino’s. It was far more comforting than sitting in formal bars and fretting over whether its to soon to invite each other over. Forcing yourself to though superficial processes. Thats before even going into the bonkers people that hide behind the smoke screen of dating apps who are living a total lie and convince some poor soul to believe it. Married men that pose as single for example.
The thing is, its still possible to meet people organically. All of the venues in the 90’s, apart from Blockbusters dam it, are still around and accessible. So lets work on mind set for a minute. Here are a few things to focus on to avoid the crowds and find genuine connections.
1) Stop trying so hard
Could it be that easy? Yes. We are simply trying to hard to find something that should be a completely natural process, especially you Scorpio’s. Relax, when its meant to happen it will. In the meantime there is so much more worthwhile, wholesome things you could be doing with your precious time. And for goodness sake, stop swiping right.
2) Fall in love with yourself
Before we are ready for the kind of love we truly deserve we need to love ourselves first. This guys and gals takes work. Get to know yourself, sod what your potential prince or lady charming loves to do. What do you love to do? Find it and fill yourself up with it. Whether your a dreamy pisces who loves to write music and dance, a creative aquarius waking up with a new idea every day or a Gemini who loves to talk your head off. Own it, indulge in who you are, embrace every part of you. This will fill your soul and bring you much more peace and self esteem than desperately seeking the one. Once you develop value for yourself you will attract it right back from others. Astrology coaching can be a game changer in this department.
3) Stay open and trust the process
By getting up every day, doing the things you love and keeping an open heart you are already doing so much to increase the chances of finding love. By adopting this approach you are far more likely to find them in the right places, in a way that feels natural and easy. If we look for love in places we don’t really want to be then its never going to feel right or be sustainable. So get your dancing shoes or trainers on, and get out there. When it comes to love, lets take it back to the 90’s. And while we are doing so, lets bring back blockbuster!
Whatever sign you are, astrology can help you focus on whats important, you. Invest in yourself, its worth it.